I'm kinda numb right now. I think about him sometimes, but now I'm able to see how much of a jerk he was....He led me to believe one thing, then decided to not follow though with anything he told me. Well...I didn't want everything we talked about to happen, but I still hoped that maybe we would be able to be together....But he is going to stay with her instead.

She really is a sweet girl, and so amazing, but after all that we talked about, I don't know why in the world he would stay with her this long. I think it's a waste of time, but oh well, I'm angry right now and I don't count. I just want....I don't even know what I want anymore. I used to want him, but that was before he turned out to be a liar. I guess I kinda still do, cause I can remember all the amazing times I've had with him, and he is an amazingly sweet guy, but I don't know if I can forgive him for this. I need a reason to hate him, though, so I can get over him. Right?

I mean, how am I supposed to get over him?? The whole process needs to speed up so I can be happy again.